Jokes Forum

Film Star Mera ,after Return from london was

Interviewed at the Airport

Q. What is the difference between Hollywood and Pakistani actors

A. No Big Diffrence Except Circumcission.

The Orthopaedic Surgeon to his patient.
You have one good news and one bad news for you
Patient:- Doctor, please,first give me the bad news
Doctor:- Our struggle failed and now we have to amputate your both legs.
Patient:- And what is good news
Doctor:- Your Fellow Patient is ready to buy your Shoes.

Once Filmstar Meera thought that she should change her profession. So she started search for a job of a teacher.
She appeared in an inerview for Female Science Teacher. She was interviewd like this;

Interviewer: Your name
Meera: Meera Bai
Interviewer: Education?
Meera: Yes G G
Interviewer: I mean qualification? Inter kiya huwa hay?
Meera: Inter course kiya huwa hay
Interviewer: hmmmmmmmmm
Will you be able to teach Biology as we have the vacancy of that category?
Meera: G ? ....I know only
Daalo Gee and Nikaalo Gee

Boy to his mom: Mom when you were out of home, dad went to the female servant room,and put her on the bed and...and
Mom, Stop here, when your dad comes in then start the story in front of him.
When the dad came in,mother told the boy to restart the story.
Boy: Mom when you were out of home,father entered the female servant room and started the same game, which you usually play with uncle shakeel when dad is in the office.

The Boy Logic was not bad.

Once Sardar Ji have some psychological inllness. He consulted a psychiatrist. He took treatment for more than 3 months. Finally he was declared FIT by psychiatrist. Sardar ji was vry happy. He asked psychiatrist that if he can do something for him Pschiatrist said..no no sardar ji, thanks. But sardar told him that he is a very good PAINTER. So he offered to write a Publicity Board for him.

When pschiatrist came to his clinic next day, he found so many people gathered near his clinic around an erected Publicity Board.
When he came closer and read it, he felt shitty as on the board, his name, qualification and specification were written as;

DR MAHESH KUMAR NAWANI

A list of Degrees..

PSYCHO THE RAPIST

Teacher: In which state Ravi Flows
Sardar: Sir in liquid State


Once it happened in a hospital that every Sunday a patient died exactly at 11 am on the same bed,The Doctors were Confused and they called upon an international experts Committee to investigate the case. Some doctors started reciting the Holy Quran,some were busy in prayers to Ward-off the Evil, but they were surprised to see the report of the Expert Pannel.
Report:-The Deaths are occuring because the Sardar (The Part Time Sweeper) Comes exactly on 11 am and he removes the life support system switch from the socket and fits his vaccum cleaner's switch in it.

It is not a joke.

There is an error in Image Hosting. Am I right? Can Dr Nayar (Admin) slove this problem?

What problem????

The Saint wrote:What problem????

There was a problem in Picture attachment/Image hosting but now its OK.

There was a parrot, kept by a shop-keeper in a cage, early in the morning a talib
(طالب ) used to pass through the shop's street.
Whenever the parrot saw the talib, the parrot loudly said talib you are a Gay.
Every morning the talib was getting this abuse,he at last made a complaint to the shop-keeper that please, advise your naughty parrot; not to abuse me publically.
Next morning when the talib was passing through the street, the parrot made an eye to eye contact with the talib, and very humbly told the talib, I am not abusing you but please confess that I was Right till yesterday.

The Parrot's last wordings in pushto were like this
طالب جانہ مالک منہ کڑے یم گنی چال دے دے بدل شوے نہ دے

Parrot said" main kuch nahin kehta magar aap samajh to gaye ho ga".

A Tip for For Dentist:

Once a lady visited a Dentist for consultation. Dentist examined her and told, You have yr 2 teeth have problem.They need curretage and filling etc. Lady said, Its so painful ......its better to get pregnant than having dental surgery"

Dentist said, then, OK mam, decide and tell me what ever you want, I mean dental surgery or Pregnant, I will adjust the chair accordingly.

Polish man moved to the USA and married an American girl. Although his
English was far from perfect, they got along very well until one day he
rushed into a lawyer's office and asked him if he could arrange divorce for
him. The lawyer said that getting a divorce could depend on the
circumstances, and asked him the following questions:
"Have you any grounds? "
"Yes, an acre and half and nice little home."
"No, I meant what is the foundation of this case?"
"It's made of concrete."
"I don't think you understand. Does either of you have a real grudge?"
"No,we have carport, and not need one."
"I mean, what are your relations like?"
"All my relations still in Poland. "
"Is there any infidelity in your marriage?"
"We have hi-fidelity stereo and good DVD player."
"Does your wife beat you up?"
"No, I always up before her."
"Is your wife a nagger?"
"No, she white."
"Why do you want this divorce? "
"She going to kill me."
"What makes you think that?"
" I got proof."
"What kind of proof?"
" She going to poison me! She buy a bottle at drugstore and put on shelf in
bathroom. I can read, and it say:
'Polish Remover'."

AIDS PROTECTION TECHNIQUE BY SARDAR GEE

www.mrdentist.editboard.com

this is mr dentist forum ....
dr abuzar . dr abdul aziz . dr zubair . dr bangash .kamal entamolgist.
noroz.dr zahid and other members are all requested to join my forum

Teacher: What does your Father do?
Student: Sir,I dont know exactly, as I go to bed early in the Night.

Dear Latif I congratulate you on opening your own forum.
May God Succeed you in Mission,
I will register my name shortly.
Wish You All The Best
Your affectionately
Dr Abu Zar

thanks for encouragement dear dr abu zar sb. best of luc in final semester..

An old man (78 years of age) visited a doctor. He told his doctor that his wife has become pregnant. He added that he is a little bit surprised and looking for some guidance for his wife.
The doctor," Before that I want to tell you a story". The Old man siad OK.
The doctor said, " Once there was a Hunter. He went to jungle to have some hunting. When he was looking for dear, rabbit etc, he atonce came across a Tiger. He pulled his gun and aimed at Tiger and fired. The tiger fell down on the gound after taking a gunshot.

But when he looked at his hands, there was a problem, He was having Umbrella in his hands instead of Gun when he hurriedly left the home. even then the tiger was down on earth.

The old man shouted, " Impossible! Impossible!" some one else might have shot the tiger.

The doctor said with a smile on his face, " Thats what I want to make you understand".

Matlab Da Day Che Duz Bel Cha Kirray vo

Patient: Doctor, what does the X-ray of my head show?

Doctor: Absolutely nothing!

A patient has a sore throat and goes to a doctor to get treatment for it.

Doctor: Your tonsils gotta come out.

Patient: I wanna second opinion.

Doctor: Okay, you're ugly, too

Want a day off work?

So you want a day off. Let's take a look at what you are asking for. There are 365 days per year available for work. There are 52 weeks per year in which you already have 2 days off per week, leaving 261 days available for work. Since you spend 16 hours each day away from work, you have used up 170 days, leaving only 91 days available. You spend 30 minutes each day on coffee break which counts for 23 days each year, leaving only 68 days available. With a 1 hour lunch each day, you used up another 46 days, leaving only 22 days available for work. You normally spend 2 days per year on sick leave. This leaves you only 20 days per year available for work. We are off 5 holidays per year, so your available working time is down to 15 days. We generously give 14 days vacation per year which leaves only 1 day available for work and I'll be darned if you are going to take that day off!

If some body has productive cough (Cough with sputum), he/she should try this , I hope it will work;

1-Open you mouth
2-Say Kahyber Pakhtoon Khaw....Kahyber Pakhtoon Khaw....Kahyber Pakhtoon Khaw....
Kahyber Pakhtoon Khaw....Kahyber Pakhtoon Khaw....
3- Three times a day.

And the sputum will be thrown out quite easily

Dear Dr.Aziz,
First of all accept my humbly greetings.
Now come to your jokes level, I do not need to say something.Let the forum decide about your joke,and rate the joke or give comments.My name is not Khyber Pakhtoonkhwa but I like the People who chose this name for NWFP.
What to comment...... I don't know.
I think My colleague will give better comments.

Dear

I know it cant be your name. In fact once Dr Nayar mentioned your name which I have forgotten. Joke should always be taken for the sake joke only. Its a good name for province,no doubt.

Ahmad ne amjad se pocha tum ne under ke jab me kia dala howa hai jo as kadar bara howa hai , ahmad me sargoshe me jawab dia dainamint hai me as motai akbar ka entizar kar raha hown wa jabe mujse melta hai seda meri seni me hunsa marta hai es bar aus ne ya harkat ke thu aous ke hato ke thukrrai bekerr jaingai

dynamite (blast)

THIS AMJAD IS looking one of our fellow. hahahhahahahah

Goad cantrebiution!