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17 posters
Jokes Forum
Dr Abu Zar Taizai- Number of posts : 1163
Age : 58
Location : Pabbi Nowshera
Job : Co-ordinator DHIS: District NowsheraAnd Coordinator Public Health
Registration date : 2008-03-09
- Post n°101
Re: Jokes Forum
And Before Marriage?????
The Saint- Admin
- Number of posts : 2444
Age : 51
Location : In the Fifth Dimension
Job : Consultant in Paediatric Emergency Medicine, NHS, Kent, England, UK
Registration date : 2007-02-22
- Post n°102
Re: Jokes Forum
Dr Abu Zar Taizai wrote:And Before Marriage?????
CENSORED
Dr Abu Zar Taizai- Number of posts : 1163
Age : 58
Location : Pabbi Nowshera
Job : Co-ordinator DHIS: District NowsheraAnd Coordinator Public Health
Registration date : 2008-03-09
- Post n°103
Re: Jokes Forum
OK Sir!
The Moment one remains silent,also communicates much:
The Moment one remains silent,also communicates much:
The Saint- Admin
- Number of posts : 2444
Age : 51
Location : In the Fifth Dimension
Job : Consultant in Paediatric Emergency Medicine, NHS, Kent, England, UK
Registration date : 2007-02-22
- Post n°104
Re: Jokes Forum
Yes, you are right. My comments are reserved and I guess they better remain reserved, otherwise "Fasad-e-Khalq ka andesha hai"
Dr. Zubair- Number of posts : 488
Age : 45
Registration date : 2008-06-07
- Post n°105
Re: Jokes Forum
Isn't it funny ?? ! .....
Wow Paki media.
Wow Paki media.
Dr Abu Zar Taizai- Number of posts : 1163
Age : 58
Location : Pabbi Nowshera
Job : Co-ordinator DHIS: District NowsheraAnd Coordinator Public Health
Registration date : 2008-03-09
- Post n°106
Re: Jokes Forum
Haan Dear Sir!
Yahan To Hum Kuch bhe Nahein Keh Saktain!!
Laiken Jub Chup Rahain to bhe wo loog Shikayat Kertain Hain!!!
" Honto'n ko sei Chokay To Zamanay Nay Ye Kaha
Qio'n Chup Sei Lagi Hay AA Jee Kuch To Boliay..
Khud ko dil say dil ke baat kahi
Aor Ro Liay"
Yahan To Hum Kuch bhe Nahein Keh Saktain!!
Laiken Jub Chup Rahain to bhe wo loog Shikayat Kertain Hain!!!
" Honto'n ko sei Chokay To Zamanay Nay Ye Kaha
Qio'n Chup Sei Lagi Hay AA Jee Kuch To Boliay..
Khud ko dil say dil ke baat kahi
Aor Ro Liay"
Dr Abdul Aziz Awan- Number of posts : 685
Age : 56
Location : WHO Country Office Islamabad
Job : National Coordinator for Polio Surveillance
Registration date : 2007-02-23
- Post n°107
Re: Jokes Forum
WRONG EMAIL ID
A man checked into a hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an e-mail to his wife. However, he accidentally typed a wrong e-mail address, and without
realizing his error, he sent the e-mail. Meanwhile....Somewhere in Houston , a widow had just returned from her husband's funeral. The widow decided to check her e-mail, expecting condolence messages from relatives and friends.
After reading the first message, she fainted. The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read:
To: My Loving Wife
Subject: I've reached
Date: 18th Feb 2009
I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here, and we are allowed to send e-mails to loved ones. I've just reached and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow.
Looking forward to see you TOMORROW
realizing his error, he sent the e-mail. Meanwhile....Somewhere in Houston , a widow had just returned from her husband's funeral. The widow decided to check her e-mail, expecting condolence messages from relatives and friends.
After reading the first message, she fainted. The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read:
To: My Loving Wife
Subject: I've reached
Date: 18th Feb 2009
I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here, and we are allowed to send e-mails to loved ones. I've just reached and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow.
Looking forward to see you TOMORROW
Dr Abu Zar Taizai- Number of posts : 1163
Age : 58
Location : Pabbi Nowshera
Job : Co-ordinator DHIS: District NowsheraAnd Coordinator Public Health
Registration date : 2008-03-09
- Post n°108
Re: Jokes Forum
That is Very Funny!!!!!!!!!
Dr Abdul Aziz Awan- Number of posts : 685
Age : 56
Location : WHO Country Office Islamabad
Job : National Coordinator for Polio Surveillance
Registration date : 2007-02-23
- Post n°109
Yak Jaan --2 Qalib
Boy in Romantic mood to his girl friend:
"Darling I want to be a part of your body"
Girl friend:
"No Thanks i already have an ass whole"
"Darling I want to be a part of your body"
Girl friend:
"No Thanks i already have an ass whole"
Dr Abu Zar Taizai- Number of posts : 1163
Age : 58
Location : Pabbi Nowshera
Job : Co-ordinator DHIS: District NowsheraAnd Coordinator Public Health
Registration date : 2008-03-09
- Post n°110
Re: Jokes Forum
Boy: Your Suit is Graceful
Girl: Thanks
Boy: Your Lipstick is very Nice
Girl:Oh Thanks
Boy: Your Shoes are very fine.
Girl; Shukria Bhai
Boy: Laiken Pher Bhi Achhi Nahein Lag Rahi Ho.
Girl: Thanks
Boy: Your Lipstick is very Nice
Girl:Oh Thanks
Boy: Your Shoes are very fine.
Girl; Shukria Bhai
Boy: Laiken Pher Bhi Achhi Nahein Lag Rahi Ho.
Dr Abdul Aziz Awan- Number of posts : 685
Age : 56
Location : WHO Country Office Islamabad
Job : National Coordinator for Polio Surveillance
Registration date : 2007-02-23
- Post n°111
Dedicated to MPH Hypos
Dedicated to MPH Hypos
A student asks a teacher, "What is love?"
The teacher said, "in order to answer your question, go to the wheat field and choose the biggest
wheat and come back
But the rule is: you can go through them only once and cannot turn back to pick."
The student went to the field, go thru first row, he saw one big wheat, but he wonders..may be there is a bigger one later.
Then he saw another bigger one.. But may be there is an even bigger one waiting for him.
Later, when he finished more than half of the wheat field, he start to realize that the wheat is not as big as the previous one he saw, he know he has missed the biggest one, and he regretted.
So, he ended up went back to the teacher with empty hand.
The teacher told him, "..this is love.. You keep looking for a better one, but when later you realize, you have already miss the person.."
"What is marriage then?" the student asked.
The teacher said, "in order to answer your question, go to the corn field and choose the biggest corn and come back. But the rule is: you can go through them only once and cannot turn back to pick."
The student went to the corn field, this time he is careful not to repeat the previous mistake, when he reach the middle of the field, he has picked one medium corn that he feel satisfy, and come back to the teacher.
The teacher told him, "This time you bring back a corn.. You look for one that is just nice, and you have faith and believe this is the best one you get..
This is marriage."
A student asks a teacher, "What is love?"
The teacher said, "in order to answer your question, go to the wheat field and choose the biggest
wheat and come back
But the rule is: you can go through them only once and cannot turn back to pick."
The student went to the field, go thru first row, he saw one big wheat, but he wonders..may be there is a bigger one later.
Then he saw another bigger one.. But may be there is an even bigger one waiting for him.
Later, when he finished more than half of the wheat field, he start to realize that the wheat is not as big as the previous one he saw, he know he has missed the biggest one, and he regretted.
So, he ended up went back to the teacher with empty hand.
The teacher told him, "..this is love.. You keep looking for a better one, but when later you realize, you have already miss the person.."
"What is marriage then?" the student asked.
The teacher said, "in order to answer your question, go to the corn field and choose the biggest corn and come back. But the rule is: you can go through them only once and cannot turn back to pick."
The student went to the corn field, this time he is careful not to repeat the previous mistake, when he reach the middle of the field, he has picked one medium corn that he feel satisfy, and come back to the teacher.
The teacher told him, "This time you bring back a corn.. You look for one that is just nice, and you have faith and believe this is the best one you get..
This is marriage."
Dr Abu Zar Taizai- Number of posts : 1163
Age : 58
Location : Pabbi Nowshera
Job : Co-ordinator DHIS: District NowsheraAnd Coordinator Public Health
Registration date : 2008-03-09
- Post n°112
Re: Jokes Forum
He was a Hypothyroid Student,otherwise he should have piled up all the biggest,medium and small Corns of wheat and the teacher would have allowed to him to Love as many dolls as he could ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
The Saint- Admin
- Number of posts : 2444
Age : 51
Location : In the Fifth Dimension
Job : Consultant in Paediatric Emergency Medicine, NHS, Kent, England, UK
Registration date : 2007-02-22
- Post n°113
Re: Jokes Forum
Yes, agreed to Abuzar
The Saint- Admin
- Number of posts : 2444
Age : 51
Location : In the Fifth Dimension
Job : Consultant in Paediatric Emergency Medicine, NHS, Kent, England, UK
Registration date : 2007-02-22
- Post n°114
Re: Jokes Forum
A Joke written and sent by Forum Member Dr Abuzar which he couldnt upload himself because of his net problems
Dr Abdul Aziz Awan- Number of posts : 685
Age : 56
Location : WHO Country Office Islamabad
Job : National Coordinator for Polio Surveillance
Registration date : 2007-02-23
- Post n°115
Re: Jokes Forum
Hey! All Bachelors And The Blessed Ones (Married) For You 2 Learn And Appreciate.
The Silent Treatment
A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent
treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.Not wanting to be the first to break the silence and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM" He left it where he knew she would find it. The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up." Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.
Wife Vs Husband
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?" "Yep," the wife replied , "in-laws"
Women's Revenge
"Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse. "So, do you
always carry your TV remote?" I asked. "No," she replied, " but my husband refused to come shopping with me, and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally."
Words
A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day... 30,000 to a man's 15,000. The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men... The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"
Creation
A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time. " The wife responded, "Allow me to explain. God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!
Who Does What
A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning. The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee." The husband said, " You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee." Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee." Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me." So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says
.........."HEBREWS"
God may have created man before woman, but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece.
The Silent Treatment
A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent
treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.Not wanting to be the first to break the silence and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM" He left it where he knew she would find it. The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up." Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.
Wife Vs Husband
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?" "Yep," the wife replied , "in-laws"
Women's Revenge
"Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse. "So, do you
always carry your TV remote?" I asked. "No," she replied, " but my husband refused to come shopping with me, and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally."
Words
A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day... 30,000 to a man's 15,000. The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men... The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"
Creation
A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time. " The wife responded, "Allow me to explain. God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!
Who Does What
A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning. The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee." The husband said, " You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee." Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee." Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me." So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says
.........."HEBREWS"
God may have created man before woman, but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece.
Dr Abu Zar Taizai- Number of posts : 1163
Age : 58
Location : Pabbi Nowshera
Job : Co-ordinator DHIS: District NowsheraAnd Coordinator Public Health
Registration date : 2008-03-09
- Post n°116
Re: Jokes Forum
Sardar's Father Gave Gun To His Son on Marriage's Night and Advised him to fire in the Air if She is virgin and Kill her if not.
He Fired in the Air on the First night and Killed her on the 2nd Night.
He Fired in the Air on the First night and Killed her on the 2nd Night.
Dr Abdul Aziz Awan- Number of posts : 685
Age : 56
Location : WHO Country Office Islamabad
Job : National Coordinator for Polio Surveillance
Registration date : 2007-02-23
- Post n°117
LETTER WRITING SKILLS
This is a collection of leave letters and applications written by people in various places of India ...
1. An employee applied for leave as follows:
Since I have to go to my village to sell my land along with my wife, Please sanction me one-week leave.
2. Another gem from CDAC. Leave-letter from an employee who was performing his daughter's wedding:
"As I am marrying my daughter, please grant a week's leave...”
3. From H.A.L. Administration dept:
"As my mother-in-law has expired and I am only one responsible for it, please grant me 10 days leave."
4. Another employee applied for half day leave as follows: "Since I've to go to the cremation ground at 10 o-clocks and I may not return, please grant me half day casual leave"
5. An incident of a leave letter "I am suffering from fever, please declare one day holiday."
6. A leave letter to the headmaster: "As I am studying in this school I am suffering from headache. I request you to leave me today"
7. Another leave letter written to the headmaster: "As my headache is paining, please grant me leave for the day."
8. Covering note: "I am enclosed herewith..."
10. Another one:
"Dear Sir: with reference to the above, please refer to my below..."
11. Actual letter written for application of leave:
"My wife is suffering from sickness and as I am her only husband at home I may be granted leave".
12. Letter writing: -
"I am in well here and hope you are also in the same well."
1. An employee applied for leave as follows:
Since I have to go to my village to sell my land along with my wife, Please sanction me one-week leave.
2. Another gem from CDAC. Leave-letter from an employee who was performing his daughter's wedding:
"As I am marrying my daughter, please grant a week's leave...”
3. From H.A.L. Administration dept:
"As my mother-in-law has expired and I am only one responsible for it, please grant me 10 days leave."
4. Another employee applied for half day leave as follows: "Since I've to go to the cremation ground at 10 o-clocks and I may not return, please grant me half day casual leave"
5. An incident of a leave letter "I am suffering from fever, please declare one day holiday."
6. A leave letter to the headmaster: "As I am studying in this school I am suffering from headache. I request you to leave me today"
7. Another leave letter written to the headmaster: "As my headache is paining, please grant me leave for the day."
8. Covering note: "I am enclosed herewith..."
10. Another one:
"Dear Sir: with reference to the above, please refer to my below..."
11. Actual letter written for application of leave:
"My wife is suffering from sickness and as I am her only husband at home I may be granted leave".
12. Letter writing: -
"I am in well here and hope you are also in the same well."
Dr Abdul Aziz Awan- Number of posts : 685
Age : 56
Location : WHO Country Office Islamabad
Job : National Coordinator for Polio Surveillance
Registration date : 2007-02-23
- Post n°118
Gulona
Che yao masta shan nasha V
Stare zra me pa dama V
Da che takht da suleman V
Nasta Hoora rasara V
Che neky ao bade na V
Na shetan ao na farekhta V
Ya janat ao dozakh na V
Che saqi ao mekhana V
Che fiza masta masta V
Che mosam wagma wagma V
Che yau za ao bal janan V
Khaist tol pa tamasha V
Stare zra me pa dama V
Da che takht da suleman V
Nasta Hoora rasara V
Che neky ao bade na V
Na shetan ao na farekhta V
Ya janat ao dozakh na V
Che saqi ao mekhana V
Che fiza masta masta V
Che mosam wagma wagma V
Che yau za ao bal janan V
Khaist tol pa tamasha V
The Saint- Admin
- Number of posts : 2444
Age : 51
Location : In the Fifth Dimension
Job : Consultant in Paediatric Emergency Medicine, NHS, Kent, England, UK
Registration date : 2007-02-22
- Post n°119
Re: Jokes Forum
Aziz the samples of leave letters is hilarious
Dr Abu Zar Taizai- Number of posts : 1163
Age : 58
Location : Pabbi Nowshera
Job : Co-ordinator DHIS: District NowsheraAnd Coordinator Public Health
Registration date : 2008-03-09
- Post n°120
Re: Jokes Forum
Abdul Aziz!!
Wonder Shaeri.and also wonderful format for pushto writing.
Very.very exciting poetry.
Is it Ghani Khan Or Sa'ail?
Wonder Shaeri.and also wonderful format for pushto writing.
Very.very exciting poetry.
Is it Ghani Khan Or Sa'ail?
Dr Abu Zar Taizai- Number of posts : 1163
Age : 58
Location : Pabbi Nowshera
Job : Co-ordinator DHIS: District NowsheraAnd Coordinator Public Health
Registration date : 2008-03-09
- Post n°121
Re: Jokes Forum
Some Spectacular Poetic Shots By The Great Ghani Khan!!
Che Masti V
Ao Zwani V
Ao janan V
Ao Dak Jam
Pa Dase Jwand Ba Ze Warzar Kem Da Sadu Nasha Tamam
Che Ze Nast Yem Pa Suri Da Kharwelley
Pa Maza Maza Lekema Da Maze Maze Ghazaley
....................................................................
Raba Ma La Ke De Rakra Baad Shaee Da Kul Jehan
Ze Ba Ye Oghurzome Da Kora Laka Suttey Pa Deran
Baad Shahee Hagho La Wark Che Zoore Ye She Zghamilay
Ma La Rakra So Guluna Ao Niazbeen Ghundey Janan.
Che Masti V
Ao Zwani V
Ao janan V
Ao Dak Jam
Pa Dase Jwand Ba Ze Warzar Kem Da Sadu Nasha Tamam
Che Ze Nast Yem Pa Suri Da Kharwelley
Pa Maza Maza Lekema Da Maze Maze Ghazaley
....................................................................
Raba Ma La Ke De Rakra Baad Shaee Da Kul Jehan
Ze Ba Ye Oghurzome Da Kora Laka Suttey Pa Deran
Baad Shahee Hagho La Wark Che Zoore Ye She Zghamilay
Ma La Rakra So Guluna Ao Niazbeen Ghundey Janan.
Dr Abdul Aziz Awan- Number of posts : 685
Age : 56
Location : WHO Country Office Islamabad
Job : National Coordinator for Polio Surveillance
Registration date : 2007-02-23
- Post n°122
Re: Jokes Forum
I got it from my friend
I don't know from where it came and by whom? But I think it's Ghani Khan style.
I don't know from where it came and by whom? But I think it's Ghani Khan style.
Dr Abdul Aziz Awan- Number of posts : 685
Age : 56
Location : WHO Country Office Islamabad
Job : National Coordinator for Polio Surveillance
Registration date : 2007-02-23
- Post n°123
Iqbal Ka Momin
Dr Abdul Aziz Awan- Number of posts : 685
Age : 56
Location : WHO Country Office Islamabad
Job : National Coordinator for Polio Surveillance
Registration date : 2007-02-23
- Post n°124
Ghazal K Chand Ashaar
Dr Abu Zar Taizai- Number of posts : 1163
Age : 58
Location : Pabbi Nowshera
Job : Co-ordinator DHIS: District NowsheraAnd Coordinator Public Health
Registration date : 2008-03-09
- Post n°125
Re: Jokes Forum
Very Nice Poetry!!
Very Good Aziz!
"Chund Kaliyan Nishat Ki Chun Ker Hamesha Mehve Yaas Rahta Hoon
Tujh Say Milna Khushi Ki Baat Sahe Tujh Say Mil Ker Udhaas Rehta Hoon.
Yeh bhi Dr Allama Iqbal Ki Sha'ery Hay
Very Good Aziz!
"Chund Kaliyan Nishat Ki Chun Ker Hamesha Mehve Yaas Rahta Hoon
Tujh Say Milna Khushi Ki Baat Sahe Tujh Say Mil Ker Udhaas Rehta Hoon.
Yeh bhi Dr Allama Iqbal Ki Sha'ery Hay
Dr Abdul Aziz Awan- Number of posts : 685
Age : 56
Location : WHO Country Office Islamabad
Job : National Coordinator for Polio Surveillance
Registration date : 2007-02-23
- Post n°126
Interview for next grade (For Hypos..)
Be Positive Like This Boy
A Lady Teacher was having trouble with one of her students in 1st Grade class. Madam asked,'Boy. What is your problem?' Boy answered, 'I'm too smart for the first-grade. . My sister is in the third-grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I shoould be in 4rth Grade
Madam took the Boy to the principal's office. While the Boy waited in the outer office, madam explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Madam he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of hisQuestions he had to go back to the first-grade. Madam agreed. The Boy was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.
'What is 3 x 3? Boy.: '9'.
'What is 6 x 6? Boy. '36'.
And so it went with every question the principal thought a 4th grade should know. The principal looks at Madam and tells her, 'I think Boy can go to the 4th grade. Madam says to the principal, 'I have some of my own questions'
Can I ask him ?' The principal and Boy both agreed. Madam asks, 'What does a cow have four of that I have only two of'?
Boy, after a moment 'Legs.
Madam 'What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?'
Boy.: 'Pockets.'
Madam:What starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval,Delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?
Boy.:Coconut
Madam:What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft And sticky?
The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer, Boy was taking charge.
Boy.:Bubblegum
Madam:What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?
The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer..
Boy.:Shake hands
Madam:You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do.
Boy.:Tent
Madam: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first.
The Principal was looking restless, a bit tense and took one large Patiala Vodka peg.
Boy.:Wedding Ring
Madam:I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good.
Boy.: Nose
Madam:I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver.
Boy.:Arrow
Madam:What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' that means lot of heat and excitement?
Boy.:Fire Truck
Madam:What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' & if u don't get it, u have to use ur hand.
Boy.:Fork
Madam:What is it that all men have one of it's longer on some men than on others, the pope doesn't use his and a man gives it to his wife after they're married?
Boy.:SURNAME.
Madam: What part of the man has no bone but has muscles, has lots of veins, like pumping, & is responsible for making love?
Boy:HEART.
The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to the teacher,'Send this Boy to AU PESHAWAR (Abasyn University) I got the last ten questions wrong myself!
A Lady Teacher was having trouble with one of her students in 1st Grade class. Madam asked,'Boy. What is your problem?' Boy answered, 'I'm too smart for the first-grade. . My sister is in the third-grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I shoould be in 4rth Grade
Madam took the Boy to the principal's office. While the Boy waited in the outer office, madam explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Madam he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of hisQuestions he had to go back to the first-grade. Madam agreed. The Boy was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.
'What is 3 x 3? Boy.: '9'.
'What is 6 x 6? Boy. '36'.
And so it went with every question the principal thought a 4th grade should know. The principal looks at Madam and tells her, 'I think Boy can go to the 4th grade. Madam says to the principal, 'I have some of my own questions'
Can I ask him ?' The principal and Boy both agreed. Madam asks, 'What does a cow have four of that I have only two of'?
Boy, after a moment 'Legs.
Madam 'What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?'
Boy.: 'Pockets.'
Madam:What starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval,Delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?
Boy.:Coconut
Madam:What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft And sticky?
The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer, Boy was taking charge.
Boy.:Bubblegum
Madam:What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?
The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer..
Boy.:Shake hands
Madam:You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do.
Boy.:Tent
Madam: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first.
The Principal was looking restless, a bit tense and took one large Patiala Vodka peg.
Boy.:Wedding Ring
Madam:I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good.
Boy.: Nose
Madam:I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver.
Boy.:Arrow
Madam:What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' that means lot of heat and excitement?
Boy.:Fire Truck
Madam:What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' & if u don't get it, u have to use ur hand.
Boy.:Fork
Madam:What is it that all men have one of it's longer on some men than on others, the pope doesn't use his and a man gives it to his wife after they're married?
Boy.:SURNAME.
Madam: What part of the man has no bone but has muscles, has lots of veins, like pumping, & is responsible for making love?
Boy:HEART.
The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to the teacher,'Send this Boy to AU PESHAWAR (Abasyn University) I got the last ten questions wrong myself!
Last edited by Dr Abdul Aziz Awan on Wed Jun 17, 2009 2:03 pm; edited 1 time in total
Dr Abdul Aziz Awan- Number of posts : 685
Age : 56
Location : WHO Country Office Islamabad
Job : National Coordinator for Polio Surveillance
Registration date : 2007-02-23
- Post n°127
Mis-communication
Mr. Khanna comes home one night, and his wife throws her arms around his neck:
"I have great news: I'm a month overdue. I think we're going to have a baby!
The doctor gave me a test today, but until we find out for sure, we can't tell anybody."
The next day, Mrs. Khanna receives a telephone call from Reliance Energy because the electricity bill has not been paid.
" Am I speaking to Mrs. Khanna? "
"Yes... speaking"
Reliance guy, "You're a month overdue, you know!"
"How do YOU know?" stammers the young woman.
"Well, ma'am, it's in our files!" says the Reliance guy.
"What are you saying? It's in your files ...HOW?????"
" Yes ............ . We have a system of finding out who's overdue "
" GOD!!!!!!... ...... This is too much........ .."
"Madam, I am sorry... I am following orders.... I have to inform you are overdue"
"I know that ... let me talk to my husband about this tonight. .... He will speak to your company tomorrow "
That night, she tells her husband about the incident, and he, mad as a bull, rushes to Reliance office the next day morning.
"What's going on? You have it on file that my wife is a month overdue?
What business is that of yours?" the husband shouts.
"Just calm down," says the lady at the reception at Reliance, "it's nothing serious. All you have to do is pay us."
"PAY you? And if I refuse?"
"Well, in that case, sir, we'd have no option but to cut yours off."
"And what would my wife do then?" the husband asks.
"I don't know. I guess she'd have to use a candle."
"I have great news: I'm a month overdue. I think we're going to have a baby!
The doctor gave me a test today, but until we find out for sure, we can't tell anybody."
The next day, Mrs. Khanna receives a telephone call from Reliance Energy because the electricity bill has not been paid.
" Am I speaking to Mrs. Khanna? "
"Yes... speaking"
Reliance guy, "You're a month overdue, you know!"
"How do YOU know?" stammers the young woman.
"Well, ma'am, it's in our files!" says the Reliance guy.
"What are you saying? It's in your files ...HOW?????"
" Yes ............ . We have a system of finding out who's overdue "
" GOD!!!!!!... ...... This is too much........ .."
"Madam, I am sorry... I am following orders.... I have to inform you are overdue"
"I know that ... let me talk to my husband about this tonight. .... He will speak to your company tomorrow "
That night, she tells her husband about the incident, and he, mad as a bull, rushes to Reliance office the next day morning.
"What's going on? You have it on file that my wife is a month overdue?
What business is that of yours?" the husband shouts.
"Just calm down," says the lady at the reception at Reliance, "it's nothing serious. All you have to do is pay us."
"PAY you? And if I refuse?"
"Well, in that case, sir, we'd have no option but to cut yours off."
"And what would my wife do then?" the husband asks.
"I don't know. I guess she'd have to use a candle."
The Saint- Admin
- Number of posts : 2444
Age : 51
Location : In the Fifth Dimension
Job : Consultant in Paediatric Emergency Medicine, NHS, Kent, England, UK
Registration date : 2007-02-22
- Post n°128
Re: Jokes Forum
Aziz, the 2nd Last Joke is Classic. 10 out of 10 for you. But kindly work out the fonts. You have made a mess out of the font things. Its really eyesore to watch such up and down fonts
Dr Abdul Aziz Awan- Number of posts : 685
Age : 56
Location : WHO Country Office Islamabad
Job : National Coordinator for Polio Surveillance
Registration date : 2007-02-23
- Post n°129
Re: Jokes Forum
Usually I always format
But
sometimes it's so much time taking and cumbersome that..................I will, sure.
But
sometimes it's so much time taking and cumbersome that..................I will, sure.
Dr Abdul Aziz Awan- Number of posts : 685
Age : 56
Location : WHO Country Office Islamabad
Job : National Coordinator for Polio Surveillance
Registration date : 2007-02-23
- Post n°130
Potentiality & Reality
Youngest Son: "Tell me Daddy, what is the difference between "Potentiality" and "Reality"?"
Dad: "I will show you"
Dad turns to his wife and asks her: "Would you sleep with Robert Redford for 1 million dollars"?
Wife: "Yes of course! I would never waste such an opportunity" ...
Then Dad asks his daughter, if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for 1 million dollars?
Daughter:” Wow! Yes! he is my fantasy!"
So Dad turns to his elder son and asks him: "Would you sleep with Tom Cruise for 1 million dollars"?
Elder Son: "Yeah! Why not? Imagine what I could do with 1 million Dollars! I would never hesitate!"
Dad: "I will show you"
Dad turns to his wife and asks her: "Would you sleep with Robert Redford for 1 million dollars"?
Wife: "Yes of course! I would never waste such an opportunity" ...
Then Dad asks his daughter, if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for 1 million dollars?
Daughter:” Wow! Yes! he is my fantasy!"
So Dad turns to his elder son and asks him: "Would you sleep with Tom Cruise for 1 million dollars"?
Elder Son: "Yeah! Why not? Imagine what I could do with 1 million Dollars! I would never hesitate!"
So the father turns back to his younger son saying: "You see son, "Potentially" we are sitting on 3 million dollars, but in "Reality" we are living with 2 prostitutes and 1 gay.
Dr Abu Zar Taizai- Number of posts : 1163
Age : 58
Location : Pabbi Nowshera
Job : Co-ordinator DHIS: District NowsheraAnd Coordinator Public Health
Registration date : 2008-03-09
- Post n°131
Re: Jokes Forum
Wife: If I sleep with your best friend to night,what idea will come first in your mind.
Husband: That you are a Lesbian
Husband: That you are a Lesbian
Dr Abdul Aziz Awan- Number of posts : 685
Age : 56
Location : WHO Country Office Islamabad
Job : National Coordinator for Polio Surveillance
Registration date : 2007-02-23
- Post n°132
Aik Sawaal
The Saint- Admin
- Number of posts : 2444
Age : 51
Location : In the Fifth Dimension
Job : Consultant in Paediatric Emergency Medicine, NHS, Kent, England, UK
Registration date : 2007-02-22
- Post n°133
Re: Jokes Forum
Nice Selection, Aziz
Dr Abdul Aziz Awan- Number of posts : 685
Age : 56
Location : WHO Country Office Islamabad
Job : National Coordinator for Polio Surveillance
Registration date : 2007-02-23
- Post n°134
Who should be the boss
"THE BOSS"
When the body was first made, all parts of the body wanted to be the Boss.
BRAIN said I should be the boss because I think, analyse and decide.
FEET said I make you move.
LUNGS, LUNGS, HANDS, EYES...too claim to be the boss and they gave different justifications.
Finally ASSHOLE said I should be the Boss. All parts of the body laughed.
So ASSHOLE went on strike, blocked itself and refused to work for 2 days.
Soon EYES became crossed, HANDS clenched, FEET twitched, HAERT & LUNGS began to panic, BRAIN fevered. Eventually they all decided that ASSHOLE should be the boss.
All other parts did the work while the boss just SAT and PASSED OUT SHIT.
MORAL: You do not need to be boss. Any ASSHOLE can do that job!
When the body was first made, all parts of the body wanted to be the Boss.
BRAIN said I should be the boss because I think, analyse and decide.
FEET said I make you move.
LUNGS, LUNGS, HANDS, EYES...too claim to be the boss and they gave different justifications.
Finally ASSHOLE said I should be the Boss. All parts of the body laughed.
So ASSHOLE went on strike, blocked itself and refused to work for 2 days.
Soon EYES became crossed, HANDS clenched, FEET twitched, HAERT & LUNGS began to panic, BRAIN fevered. Eventually they all decided that ASSHOLE should be the boss.
All other parts did the work while the boss just SAT and PASSED OUT SHIT.
MORAL: You do not need to be boss. Any ASSHOLE can do that job!
Dr Abu Zar Taizai- Number of posts : 1163
Age : 58
Location : Pabbi Nowshera
Job : Co-ordinator DHIS: District NowsheraAnd Coordinator Public Health
Registration date : 2008-03-09
- Post n°135
Re: Jokes Forum
Teacher : Why Girls Rub Their Eyes in the morning,while getting up from their beds.
Student: Madam, because they don't have the scrotum.
Student: Madam, because they don't have the scrotum.
Dr Abu Zar Taizai- Number of posts : 1163
Age : 58
Location : Pabbi Nowshera
Job : Co-ordinator DHIS: District NowsheraAnd Coordinator Public Health
Registration date : 2008-03-09
- Post n°136
Re: Jokes Forum
Bazar Wali Nazuk C
Office Wali Naram Naram
Mohallay Wali Patli C
Ghar Wali Garma Garam
Aap Konsi Roti Pasand Kartay Hain......
Office Wali Naram Naram
Mohallay Wali Patli C
Ghar Wali Garma Garam
Aap Konsi Roti Pasand Kartay Hain......
Dr Abu Zar Taizai- Number of posts : 1163
Age : 58
Location : Pabbi Nowshera
Job : Co-ordinator DHIS: District NowsheraAnd Coordinator Public Health
Registration date : 2008-03-09
- Post n°137
Re: Jokes Forum
A woman is lodging Complaint in a Police Station: Inspector Sahib,Mera Shohar Aaloo Lainey Bazar Giya ta,2 den Hoay Magar Wapas Nahein Aaya.
Sardar Inspector: Bhen Jee,Tusi Kuch Aor Paka Lo Naa,,,,
Sardar Inspector: Bhen Jee,Tusi Kuch Aor Paka Lo Naa,,,,
Dr Abdul Aziz Awan- Number of posts : 685
Age : 56
Location : WHO Country Office Islamabad
Job : National Coordinator for Polio Surveillance
Registration date : 2007-02-23
- Post n°138
Re: Jokes Forum
ایک سردار اپنی بیوی سے : میں کہیں سے فارنر لگتا ھوں
بیوی: بالکل نہیں
سردار: لیکن جب میں پچھلے ہفتے شارجہ میں تھا تواکثر لوگ مجھے فارنر کہہ رھے تھے
Foriegner: فارنر
Dr Abdul Aziz Awan- Number of posts : 685
Age : 56
Location : WHO Country Office Islamabad
Job : National Coordinator for Polio Surveillance
Registration date : 2007-02-23
- Post n°139
Doctors Qualities
First year students at Medical School were receiving Their first anatomy class with a real dead human body.
They all gathered around the surgery table with the body covered with a white sheet. The professor started the class by telling them, "In medicine,it is necessary to have two important qualities as a doctor. The first is that you should not be disgusted by anything involving the human body."
The Professor pulled back the sheet, stuck his finger in the anus of the corpse, withdrew it and stuck it in his mouth.
"Go ahead and do the same thing," he told his students. The students initially freaked out, hesitated for several minutes, but eventually
took turns sticking a finger in the anus of the corpse and sucking on it.
When everyone finished, the Professor looked at the class and told them,
"The second most important quality is observation. I stuck in my middle finger but sucked on my index finger. Now learn to pay attention!"
They all gathered around the surgery table with the body covered with a white sheet. The professor started the class by telling them, "In medicine,it is necessary to have two important qualities as a doctor. The first is that you should not be disgusted by anything involving the human body."
The Professor pulled back the sheet, stuck his finger in the anus of the corpse, withdrew it and stuck it in his mouth.
"Go ahead and do the same thing," he told his students. The students initially freaked out, hesitated for several minutes, but eventually
took turns sticking a finger in the anus of the corpse and sucking on it.
When everyone finished, the Professor looked at the class and told them,
"The second most important quality is observation. I stuck in my middle finger but sucked on my index finger. Now learn to pay attention!"
Dr Abdul Aziz Awan- Number of posts : 685
Age : 56
Location : WHO Country Office Islamabad
Job : National Coordinator for Polio Surveillance
Registration date : 2007-02-23
- Post n°140
HUNTER
An 80-year old man was having his annual checkup and the doctor asked him how he was feeling. "I've never been better!" he boasted. "I've got an eighteen year old bride who's pregnant and having my child! What do you think about that?"
The doctor considered this for a moment, then said, "Let me tell you a story. I knew a guy who was an avid hunter. He never missed a season. But one day, he went out in a bit of a hurry, and he accidentally grabbed his umbrella instead of his gun."
The doctor continued, "So he was in the woods, and suddenly a grizzly bear appeared in front of him! He raised up his umbrella, pointed it at the bear and squeezed the handle."
"And do you know what happened?" the doctor queried.
Dumbfounded, the old man replied, "No."
The doctor continued, "The bear dropped dead in front of him!"
"That's impossible!" exclaimed the old man. "Someone else must have shot that bear."
"That's kind of what I'm getting at," replied the doctor.
The doctor considered this for a moment, then said, "Let me tell you a story. I knew a guy who was an avid hunter. He never missed a season. But one day, he went out in a bit of a hurry, and he accidentally grabbed his umbrella instead of his gun."
The doctor continued, "So he was in the woods, and suddenly a grizzly bear appeared in front of him! He raised up his umbrella, pointed it at the bear and squeezed the handle."
"And do you know what happened?" the doctor queried.
Dumbfounded, the old man replied, "No."
The doctor continued, "The bear dropped dead in front of him!"
"That's impossible!" exclaimed the old man. "Someone else must have shot that bear."
"That's kind of what I'm getting at," replied the doctor.
Dr Abdul Aziz Awan- Number of posts : 685
Age : 56
Location : WHO Country Office Islamabad
Job : National Coordinator for Polio Surveillance
Registration date : 2007-02-23
- Post n°141
Re: Jokes Forum
A parrot swallows a Viagra tablet.
His owner, disgusted, puts him in the freezer to cool off.
Later when he opens the freezer, he finds the parrot sweating.
"How come you are sweating?" he asks.
The parrot replies, "Do you know how hard it is to open the legs of a frozen chicken?"
His owner, disgusted, puts him in the freezer to cool off.
Later when he opens the freezer, he finds the parrot sweating.
"How come you are sweating?" he asks.
The parrot replies, "Do you know how hard it is to open the legs of a frozen chicken?"
Dr Abdul Aziz Awan- Number of posts : 685
Age : 56
Location : WHO Country Office Islamabad
Job : National Coordinator for Polio Surveillance
Registration date : 2007-02-23
- Post n°142
Management Lesson
A sales representative, an administration clerk, and their manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out.
The Genie says, ???I'll give each of you just one wish.???
???Me first! Me first!??? says the administration clerk. ???I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world. ???Puff!??? She's gone.
???Me next! Me next!??? says the sales representative. ???I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life. ???Puff!??? He's gone.
???OK, you're up,??? the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, ???I want those two back in the office after lunch.???
Moral of the story:
Always let your boss have the first say.
The Genie says, ???I'll give each of you just one wish.???
???Me first! Me first!??? says the administration clerk. ???I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world. ???Puff!??? She's gone.
???Me next! Me next!??? says the sales representative. ???I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life. ???Puff!??? He's gone.
???OK, you're up,??? the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, ???I want those two back in the office after lunch.???
Moral of the story:
Always let your boss have the first say.
Dr Abdul Aziz Awan- Number of posts : 685
Age : 56
Location : WHO Country Office Islamabad
Job : National Coordinator for Polio Surveillance
Registration date : 2007-02-23
- Post n°143
Manager's Advice
A new manager spends a week at his new office with the manager he is replacing. On the last day the departing manager tells him, "I have left three numbered envelopes in the desk drawer. Open an envelope if you encounter a crisis you can't solve."
Three months down the track there is major drama, everything goes wrong - the usual stuff - and the manager feels very threatened by it all.
He remembers the parting words of his predecessor and opens the first envelope. The message inside says "Blame your predecessor!" He does this and gets off the hook.
About half a year later, the company is experiencing a dip in sales, combined with serious product problems. The manager quickly opens the second envelope. The message read, "Reorganize!" This he does, and the company quickly rebounds.
Three months later, at his next crisis, he opens the third envelope. The message inside says "Prepare three envelopes"
Three months down the track there is major drama, everything goes wrong - the usual stuff - and the manager feels very threatened by it all.
He remembers the parting words of his predecessor and opens the first envelope. The message inside says "Blame your predecessor!" He does this and gets off the hook.
About half a year later, the company is experiencing a dip in sales, combined with serious product problems. The manager quickly opens the second envelope. The message read, "Reorganize!" This he does, and the company quickly rebounds.
Three months later, at his next crisis, he opens the third envelope. The message inside says "Prepare three envelopes"
Dr Farooq- Number of posts : 38
Age : 43
Location : Abbottabad
Registration date : 2009-03-30
- Post n°144
Re: Jokes Forum
Nice jokes Dr.Abdul Aziz...i thought we will be only benefitting from your notes on various issues in the relevant sections but u have got a nice sense of humour too....i really love it....keep it up.....
Farooq
Farooq
Dr Abu Zar Taizai- Number of posts : 1163
Age : 58
Location : Pabbi Nowshera
Job : Co-ordinator DHIS: District NowsheraAnd Coordinator Public Health
Registration date : 2008-03-09
- Post n°145
Re: Jokes Forum
A sardar Burnt his Thigh and went for treatment
The Doctor Prescribed him,Burnol Ointment and Viagra
Sardar!! Doctor I know that burnol is needed for my Traetment But Why
Viagra, it is totally not related to my Treatment
Doctor!!! It will keep your Colthes away from your wound.
The Doctor Prescribed him,Burnol Ointment and Viagra
Sardar!! Doctor I know that burnol is needed for my Traetment But Why
Viagra, it is totally not related to my Treatment
Doctor!!! It will keep your Colthes away from your wound.
Dr Abdul Aziz Awan- Number of posts : 685
Age : 56
Location : WHO Country Office Islamabad
Job : National Coordinator for Polio Surveillance
Registration date : 2007-02-23
- Post n°146
Re: Jokes Forum
A Sardar received invitation card of an evening fucntion. He read the card for venue and timing etc. One sepcial instruction was there." PLEASE WEAR MARON TIE WHEN YOU ATTEND THIS FUCNTION".
So he did the same. But when he went there he was surprised. He came back and shared with his wife. His wife asked, What happened?
He said
لگا کر آنا ھے مگر وہاں تو سب مکمل ڈریس میں تھے۔TIE کارڈ پر لکھا تھا کہ میرون
So he did the same. But when he went there he was surprised. He came back and shared with his wife. His wife asked, What happened?
He said
لگا کر آنا ھے مگر وہاں تو سب مکمل ڈریس میں تھے۔TIE کارڈ پر لکھا تھا کہ میرون
Dr Abdul Aziz Awan- Number of posts : 685
Age : 56
Location : WHO Country Office Islamabad
Job : National Coordinator for Polio Surveillance
Registration date : 2007-02-23
Sohail Anjum- Number of posts : 32
Age : 45
Location : Islamabad
Job : Database Manager (UNICEF Islamabad)
Registration date : 2009-03-09
- Post n°148
Re: Jokes Forum
SARDARsss
Question:
"Should Women have Children after 35?"
Smart Sardar Replied: "No!
[i][i]35 Children are More than Enough!!" [/i][/i]
Question:
"Should Women have Children after 35?"
Smart Sardar Replied: "No!
[i][i]35 Children are More than Enough!!" [/i][/i]
Dr Abu Zar Taizai- Number of posts : 1163
Age : 58
Location : Pabbi Nowshera
Job : Co-ordinator DHIS: District NowsheraAnd Coordinator Public Health
Registration date : 2008-03-09
- Post n°149
Re: Jokes Forum
Smart Joke
Dr Abu Zar Taizai- Number of posts : 1163
Age : 58
Location : Pabbi Nowshera
Job : Co-ordinator DHIS: District NowsheraAnd Coordinator Public Health
Registration date : 2008-03-09
- Post n°150
Re: Jokes Forum
Corelation between Different Ages and Romance
16 years Unlimited
18 Din Raat
25 Her Raat
30 Jumeraat
45 Chand Raat
60 Sirif Jazbat
75 Ghalat Baat
16 years Unlimited
18 Din Raat
25 Her Raat
30 Jumeraat
45 Chand Raat
60 Sirif Jazbat
75 Ghalat Baat
Sat Apr 08, 2023 8:31 am by Dr Abdul Aziz Awan
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