Jokes Forum

Teacher from Sardar please tell me,How the chicken gets out of the egg.
Sardar! Sir, You have created another confusion in my mind,
Tell now, I was wondering that how it gets entered into the egg.

From now onwards all jokes be posted in this as a continuation instead of creating new posts for every new joke. This has been done to avoid clutter on the forum

a man went to peshawar and appeared in a post graduate level exam. on return when he reached door of his home , his face expressions and face value was so much changed that his own childern and wife denied to recognise him as thier father and husband. they did not allow him to enter the home. he tried to convence them that i m ur ones but they said .. HAMARA PAPA ITNA BLACK FACE NAHI HO SAKTHA. the man said with sorrow .. YE MPH KARNEY K KARISHMY HEY

A deaf man was appearing in an interview for a job.
He asked his friend to help him,as he could only hear when somebody shouts near his ears,the person did not want to let the interviewer know this weakness,
Friend: Don't you worry,in pakistan the inerviewer have only one formate of questions.
First He will ask you about your age
2nd about your experience
3rd He will ask you whether you will work on daily wages or you will also claim pention.
What you will need to do is,just look at his mouth,when he will finish his first quetion ,reply that Sir 30 year (it is about your age)
for the 2nd quetion your reply should be 10 (About your experience)
for the last and third question your reply should be "Sir Both" (It is about your choice of pention or wages)
The deaf man sat in front chair and started looking at the interviewer lips,the interviewer asked questions in the following way.
the interviewer first asked what is your experience, He replied Sir it is 40 years
then he asked what is your age he replied Sir 10 years
The interviewer bacame furious and asked him, tell me whether I am mental or you.
He replied "Both Sir Both"

If someone Touches You and You Don't feel it ,It is "Ignorance"
If someone Touches You and You feel it,It is "Love"
But...............
If someone Doesn't Touch you and You feel it,Then It is "KHARISH"

Techer: Meenar-e-Pakistan Kis Nay Banaya?
Student: Sir, Mazduroo'n Nay

dear dr abu zar .you are my respectable senior . and i am proud of you that u daily visit the forum . and i will also give advice to my classfellows that ..... BESHAK NOTES DOWNLOAD MAT KARNA,BUT JUST HAVE A LOOK ON DAILY BASIS TO THE FORUM, BCOZ THERE IS A LOT OF THINGS FOR US. AND I HAVE SEEN SO MANY UNIVERSITIES MPH PROGRAMES, AND U PEOPLE WILL BE SURPRISED TO KNOW THAT NO OTHER UNI AND MPH CO-ORDINATOR HAS PRESENTED READY MADE NOTES AND LECTURES FOR STUDENTS IN SUCH AN EASY WAY. SO COME TO THE FORUM AND SHARE ALOT OF THINGS WITH ONE ANOTHER , THANKS

Our Worthy Teacher Has given me the avatar "Black Cat" Yane "Kali Billi"
I remember a joke related to black Cat
IN URDU
Agar Aap Kaheen Ja rahain hoon aor Kali Billi Aap kay samnay say Guzray
Tho Ess ka Kia Matlab hay.
Jawab: Ye keh Kali Billi bhi Kahein Ja Rahi Hay.

father .. if u pass in ur exam i will give u one cycle.
son .. if i fail?
father .. i will give u 100 cycles.
son .. why?
father .. pher mera puthar dukaan koly gaa cycle di.

failure should never go to heart and success should never go to head , both makes a person to fall in life ... so all the students who has shown good result must not be in nakhraa hmhmhh they must continue with their studies and all those students who are not good performer they should try to get high ranks n studies warna dr abu zar sb ne tho mph k degreee ko itna devalue kar diyyaaa(matric nd mph fa mph ba mph etc) k afghanistan ki currency bnaa dheeee

Agreed 100%. There will be a ban soon on these BA's, Tabibs, Homeopaths, LHW's, techs.....Inshallah then the standard will improve, and these issues of mental calibre of these pour souls will be overcome. I wont have to bang my head anymore.

Teacher : Prove that the world is Round and give some good examples.
Hypothyroid Student: The world is round,But I cannt give example Sir,
Teacher: Stupid at least you should have given the example of you scored
marks total in your last exam,which was '0' or your this paper marks
which is again Zero, and Zero is always round.

WE WORMLY WELCOME THE NEW COMERS TO THE WORLD OF SYNDROMES.AND PLZ DONOT TELL THESE NEW STUDENTS OF MPH OUR RESULTS AND PERFORMANCE . WARNAA THEY WILL RETURN AND WILL NEVER SEE BACK TO ABASYN. AKHER HAM NE PERFORMANCE JO ITNEEE SHAANDAAR DHEEE HEY . BUT MUJY PATHA NAHI Q POORA YAAQEEN HEY K HAAM HONGY KAAMYAAAB. AND MUJY AB PAATHA CHLAAA K HMAARY KUCH FRIENDS NE STUDY K LY EK ZABARDAST FORMULA APNAYA HEY K (SLOW AND STEADY WINS THE RACE )SO WE ARE SLOWLY PROGRESSING TOWARDS VICTORY .... BEST WISHES

Lam excuses and the bad performers.

Father: -My sweet son! Why you scored very low marks in the history paper.
Son: Actually the teacher was asking me, about the period when I was not born yet.
3rd Semesterian’s fathers if ask the same question from their sons, that why you scored very low marks in the PHN their sons will reply like this,
When we ourselves are diagnosed cases of Hypothyroidism, then how can we make a plan to address the same problem for others?

"Golden Words"
Mard ke kamyabi main sub say barri rokawat us ke Bevi Hay.

Janab Asif Ali Zardari

There were 3 persons, Discussing there Country's Deeds (Boosting)
The German: We have fighters,which touches the Sky while flying.
Other asked: Exactly they are touching the sky
German: Sorry, it is Just one inch below the sky
American: We have such submarines, that they touches the Ground under the water while Sailing in the Oceans. The others asked exactly they they are touching the ground
American Became Reluctant and said Sorry,It is Just one inch above the ground.

Pakistani: We have such people in our country that they eat food,through their Nose.
Others: Really they eat food through their nose
Pakistani : Sorry,Just one inch Below the nose

Three ways to catch a Tiger
1. Newton’s Law: Allow the Tiger to catch you; the tiger will allow you to catch it.
2. Einstein’s Law: Chase the Tiger with the speed of light, by doing so the tiger
will become a cat, then catch it .
3. Pakistani Police’s Law: Catch a cat and beet it, till it agrees to be a Tiger.

What does " ZARDARI" mean?

Meaning:
ZAR Gold
DAR Door
I me


All gold (wealth) inside my house

But Before,Entering that House,Do ask the Father of Gold, (ABU ZAR)

ek building me aag lag gaayeee.. ek pathan ne jalthii building me se 6 aadmii nikaaal laayee. pher b logo ne usyyyy pakar kar baahut maaaraaaa.....
qqqq ???????

ary bahhhi wo 6 k 6 log fire bragaid waaly thy ...

sardar ji ne air port phone kiyya and phouchaa.
o ji ye germany se holland kitny der ki parwaz hey ?
phone operator bholi. sir one second please.
sardar ji..  ok  thank you

Aik Pathan Hair Dresser Nay Apni Dokan Ground Floor say 2nd Floor Per Shift Ki.
Pher, Board per Likha (Wrote)
Ab Neechay kay Bal, Ooper Katey Jatay Hain.

Although difficult but one can try to Copete,Dr Abu Zar in other fields of Life but the Sense of Humour of Dr Abu Zar is absolutely unbeatable.

The Above Statement was sent to me by our Respectable MS Pabbi,Dr Arshid through email and requeted me to post it on the forum.

A hypothyoid Married!
On first Night went to sleep in the verrandah,His wife called him from her room,and told that Please come in because I am feeling severe cold.
The Hypothyroid came inside the room and Shut all the Windows and went out again.
After some time she called her again and asked that I am still feeling cold,he said Ok and swiched on the heater.
After 10 minutes she again Complained about the same problem.
The Hypothyoid came in and asked her ,that what he can do more to feel her warm.
She told that before marriage,whenever I faced such problem my mother used to hug me and sleep with me in my bed,then I felt ok.
Hypothyroid said.ok,ok now I understood and started, going out of home in the mid night.
Wife: Where are you going at this time?
Hypothyroid! I am going to ask your mother, to sleep with you.

Thanks Dr Abu Zar for posting my comments on the forum,Now I can post things on the forum. I enjoy your jokes.Please.Ask Dr Nayyar that on which day which subject is being taught,as I feel it is not settled now.As you know I am a DL Student,but can come to attend the class two days a week and dont want to miss any class of epidimiology.This I am asking, to adjust my time table with the syllabus.

Your Brotherly,
Dr Arshid Mehmood

congratulations to all on restoration of chief justice and other deposed judges . may allah keep pakistan in safe hands .

Thanks Sir! I got it Now!
Thanks for your Attention.
Dr Arshid Mehmood.

AoA!
I am sorry,because what I was expected to do has been done by our quick and efficient teacher,already.
But to tell you some thing in addition ,is that some times the teachers may teach you some other subject instead of the scheduled one,Like Dr Nayyar may teach you epidemiolgy instead of Hospital administration,if he felt that I need to give more time to vast subject of epidemilogy,but this happens rarely.
With Regards.
Yours Truly,
Dr Abu Zar

Sorry Dr Arshid Sb!
As you had gone to prayer,and had logged in your public Health Forum,so I gave the responses in your account.Next time do log out, when going out from your guest room.Sir! I cannot wait for you more and am going to Jallozai as the road is not safe. Every thing you need can be seen on the forum.
Bye
Dr Abu Zar

Teacher: What Does Your father Do?
Boy: Sir! I don't Know Exactly,because I go to bed early in the Night.

Abuzar whats up..... I think you have also taken responsibility of being the official spokesperson for Dr Arshad Mehmood Sahib.....

No but,Some times I can access his account when he is already logged in,even when he is present,because nothing is secret,in this forum.He is a very kind man.
He is my Boss but,Is under my training now, He is very much interested to go deep into the Hypothyroid Philosophy.He is very intellegent and much committed but is not so good in the computer skills.
with opology from Dr Arshid.
Thanks Dr Aziz for analysing every aspect of our Beloved forum!

An SMS from Mr adnan(3rd year MPH student)
DEBIT ho ki mere dil me
Kahin CREDIT ho na jana
Meri zindagi ka NET PTOFIt ho tum
Kahin NET LOSS ho na jana
ERRORS jo b ho muj me in ko RECTIFY kerti rehna
Meri zindagi ka TOTAL INCOME ho tum EXPENSE ho na jana
Mere sapno k ASSET ho thum
Deko Kahin LIABILITY ho na jana
HAPPY BALANCE SHEET

This was what I sent to him and Mutahira,and Dr Nayyar through sms.It's purely my Craetion.But you have missed some sentences
Bad or Good but was related to the then Subject (Financial Accounting)
Now it is very famous,especially amongs the financial and Commerce students.

Goshhhhhhh. How did Adnan reach 3rd Year of MPH. It will take another 10 years and preparation of 1000's of balance sheets before Adnan reaches any third year of MPH

I think Adnan,will not sleep tonight.

Someone told me Adnan never wakes up. He lives in a dream world of his own, full of illusions, delusions, profound confusions and his own definitions

I still remember his Superb presentation on Debit and Credit,Which Consisted of only:
Credit is what comes in
Debit What Goes Out
Debit is increase in assets
Credit is decrease in assets

.............................."Our Buss" :only< 1 Minute presentation and then Dessertation
.............................. And Dr Nayyar Frustration
..............................The Cass-Fellows Jubilation
...............................and Adnan's Mortification

Mortification....... rather mummification

By the way Adnan simplifies the whole Public Health in ONE Sentence and tries to prove that all Public Health Gurus who shaped Public Health like John Snow, Edward Jenner, Joseph Bhore, Loius Pasteur were all HYPOTHYROIDS

Khalak Samandar pa kuza ke bandawi
Adnan ye pa yawo Capsule ke bandawai

What the ......... The hypothyroids have gone into another session of slow brain activity, probably COMA

ABuzar you need to ask the WHO for making massive arrangement for giving Thyroxine to our Hypothyroids, otherwise I guess, they soon will develop irreversible brain damage

I have talked to them,they regretted this,and asked me to give some other suggestions.
I had only two suggestions then,
To remove the thyroids from our teachers or to give Neomerkazole to them,it will have dual purposes
1. Health Equity system will be satisfied.
2. The teachers will become at the hypothyroid level,and then they will think that the MPH
Students are genius. Which is actually true,but in the eyes of the Hypothyroids.

Thats a thinkable idea, but remember, its not only the matter of thyroid hormone. Our "Shehzadagaan" are deficient in everything........ You know better